About Valen
Rebel Healer and Innovative Coach
Valen is a Hippie Intellectual, Rebel Healer, and Advocate for Loving Relationship Reform who brings radical compassion and deep insight to every session. With over 20 years of experience, she supports courageous individuals in their journey to remain authentic in a world that often demands conformity.
As a writer and workshop facilitator, Valen challenges outdated myths around marriage, sexuality, and self-worth—offering bold, liberating perspectives that invite healing and transformation. Her work is rooted in the belief that non-violent self-regard is the foundation of all healthy relationships. When we treat ourselves with kindness and truth, we create space for mutual respect to flourish—within our partnerships and across our communities.
Valen believes we are living in evolutionary times—an era ripe with possibility to reimagine love, connection, and belonging. Through her guidance, clients learn that love is not just a feeling, but a powerful teacher. And when we choose to love consciously, we become agents of change in a world hungry for authenticity and care.
The Question That Changed My Life: "Mom, do you believe in marriage?"
I sat snuggled into the corner of a wingback chair, studying for a social psychology class. The quiet, after dinner, hush gave me time for either sleep, or homework. Highlighter in one hand, book in the other, I worked to absorb the new data through a fog of fatigue. I had three more chapters to read and a paper to finish. It would probably be another late night.
With her usual buoyancy, my 16-year-old daughter entered and plopped down on the ottoman in front of me. “Mom, do you believe in marriage?” she asked.
Startled, I lowered my book and gave her my full attention, “Why do you ask?”
"I just don't see a lot of happily married parents," she replied.
I'd been married twice, divorced once, and disillusioned by infidelity, disregard, and tolerant co-existence. My first response could have been a quick and cynical, “No! I don’t believe in marriage.” But, deep down inside, just like so many others, I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe that my daughter could have a different experience. I wanted to believe that she could live ‘happily ever after’. I wanted to say, “Yes! I believe!”
After more than 20 years, I now reply, "Honey, I believe in love. I believe in loving relationship as something towards which we all aspire. The institution of marriage; on the other hand, needs some tweaking.”
Now, let’s begin…
Defiant Goddess Chronicles: Soul Stirring True Stories to Inspire
SHE died unexpectedly at 42. She'd struggled with obesity, rejection, criticism, and bullying her entire life. She'd fallen in love a few times. Yet, her love was unreciprocated. She wasn't 'pretty' enough; she was not what he wanted. Her life could have been deemed tragic. So, what made it so defiantly beautiful?
She lived! In spite of the cruelty, rejection, and shaming, she pursued her art. She mentored others and supported them to be courageous in their careers. She travelled, enjoyed music, and never dimmed her inner fire. She defied the darkness to tend to her inner light. At her celebration of life, I stood in a church packed with people who had been touched by her light. My heroine, my soul-full sister, was a beacon, a testament for the power of self-regard. She lived.
SHE sat alone in the light of a burning campfire. Her heart was torn. After 10 years of marriage, now turned more business partnership, she was tempted by a new regard, a potential lover who valued her. He desired her. Business commitments and children depended on her stability. She'd helped to create them, and she valued them both deeply. Yet, she yearned to be valued as a woman again. It wasn't just carnal temptation; she felt lonely and disillusioned. Her husband's interest focused elsewhere. Hadn't she tried everything to keep the fires of intimacy alive with him?
In the light of the campfire, she talked to God and considered her choice. If God is love, then how could love be 'evil'? She'd spent her days caring for others. Could this be a revitalizing grace? In a defiant moment, she chose love. She took the path less taken. For once in her life, she chose to receive the care offered. She stepped beyond the matrix of marriage. She dared to dance in its shadows. Years later she wondered, "Did I betray my marriage, or had marriage betrayed me?
What's your defiant story?